the contest was for AP english. we had to write a letter to an author detailing how one of their books influenced our lives. here's mine. enjoy!
Dear Sarah Dessen,
As a child, I fell in love with words. I became a bookworm in my small apartment, sitting in dark places with a flashlight, escaping to my alternate world. Every book held a different life for me. Something new, something more exciting than my life as the quiet girl with glasses. The nerd. I could be anyone. I could do anything. At least, that was my naïve perception. However, as I grew older, I also grew jaded. I started to believe less and less in alternate realities and was forced to come to terms with the fact I would never be as glamorous as the characters I read about. I was simply an average girl, leading an average life. I gave up on books and in doing so, I gave up my voice.
The summer before my freshman year of high school my best friend handed me her copy of The Truth About Forever, assuring me that it was well worth my time. I took the book, somewhat fascinated by the title but not entirely convinced I would actually read it. Honestly, I didn’t make it past the first couple of pages. I started, only to put it on my nightstand, letting it collect dust, assuring my friend I would get around to it. Months passed before I ever did. However, this same year of high school, my life took a turn for the worse. My dad lost the constant battle he’d been fighting with his mind, tearing everyone down in the process. He moved out, much to my dismay, and began taking his frustration out on me, his sweet baby girl. I will never forget that year. Every day I dreaded coming home, knowing that he would be there waiting. He became a fan of the drive by’s that year, knowing he would only be able to do so when my mom was at work. I just sat there and took it. All the lectures. All the words a girl should never hear from her dad. All the guilt and blame placed upon my shoulders. I wanted to be strong, but inside I was breaking. I wanted a way out. And I picked up your book.
This time, I made it past the first page. All the way to page six, where I read “My dad died. And I was there.” From that point on, I was hooked. Suddenly, I was a little girl again, making friends with fictional characters. The way you described “the look” summed up everything I had been feeling. “The one with the sad look, accompanied by the cock of the head to the side and the softening of the chin- oh my goodness, you poor thing.” I’m not Macy Queen. I didn’t witness my dad die on the side of the road. But I did witness the man I once knew became a faded memory of who he used to be. To me, he did die. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. I haven’t talked to him in two years, six months, and counting. And I have been reduced to this one tragedy in my life. I became that girl. The girl from the broken home. The girl who looked for love in all the wrong places. The girl without a dad. I felt like Macy Queen. I grew with her, understanding her feelings of hostility to her mother, understanding her incapability to let people in. I knew her. In my mind, she was my friend.
Believe me when I say you have given teenage girls all over the world a sense of hope. The feeling that one day they will meet the perfect boy. The feeling that one day they will find their voice and finally stand up to someone who has only brought them down. The feeling that one day, it will all make sense. Ever since I finished The Truth About Forever, I fell in love with words again. I remembered what it was like to find a sense of hope in something outside yourself. I remembered what it was like to believe.
I read and reread all of your books at least twice a year. I don’t want to be that cliché seventeen year old who tells you that your books changed her life. But it’s the truth. Through your characters, you’ve taught me about myself. I found my voice again. I might not ever find a boy as charming and perfect as Wes, but that’s not the only hope you’ve instilled in me. You’ve taught me to speak up because one day, I might not be able to. You’re right. The truth about forever is that it’s always changing. And that the only thing that really matters is that it’s happening: right now.
Stay Beautiful,
Casey Lee Preuett
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