two different natural disasters characterized by totally different things. a tornado is a cyclone, traveling through places, destructing everything in sight. no ones knows exactly what it will hit or when it will stop. tornadoes seem to have a mind of their own, stopping wherever they please. they spin and spin and keep on spinning. i view tornadoes as a mess. they just spin for the sake of destruction. for the sake of chaos. volcanoes on the other hand are something entirely different. they're full of lava, ready to erupt at any moment. i view volcanoes as angry. they're always on edge, ready to explode. it may be a little crazy to compare natural disasters to people, but i think the likeness is too tangible to ignore. tornado, volcano, human. three different things with one thing in common. they're all beautiful disasters.
i think if i were any natural disaster i would be a tornado. i'm not spinning out of control by any means. but i am always spinning, never sure where to stop. i'm not an out of control teenager. i don't drink. i don't smoke. i'm waiting until i'm married to have sex. i love Jesus. but in some ways, i'm still a mess. i'm unsure of myself sometimes. i make mistakes. some days i wake up and feel completely broken. sometimes i just want to spiral to see who cares enough to stop me. sometimes i just want to see where the wind will take me. sometimes i just want to be free.
someone who's a volcano is a mystery. you don't know exactly when they're going to erupt, or what will happen when they do, all you know is that it's coming. maybe some people find that scary. and maybe those people are right. being unstable isn't healthy. i know that from experience. not knowing what to expect from someone is a constant battle, a constant roller coaster that you never can seem to get off. so what is it, exactly, about volcanoes that's so enticing? they're mysterious. they're different. and they're beautiful.
so let's say i meet a volcano. i'm spinning until someone stops me. he's holding in his anger until something sets him off. he stops me. i set him off. what happens? i wish i knew. but that's the thing about disasters, they wouldn't be beautiful if you saw them coming. they would be simply ordinary. an everyday occurrence no one pays much attention to at all. so i came in to his life, full speed ahead, not holding back. i set him off. he erupted. so what are we now? still two very different people with one thing in common: we're both beautiful disasters.
so, truth be told, i'm still spinning. i'm still holding nothing back. and i know, sooner or later, the volcano will erupt again. i don't know when and i don't want to. that's part of the mystery. part of the charm. i like the element of the unknown. natural disasters don't really scare me. for some reason, i've never been phased by them. i find them intriguing. i find them beautiful.
maybe someday we'll be on the same page. but for right now, i'm still spinning, hoping he'll stop me. and he's still on the verge of erupting. one day i'll stop spinning. one day he'll let go of all his anger. one day we won't have to be disasters to be beautiful. one day he'll open his eyes. but until then, i'll keep spinning, hoping someday, somebody will stop me.
He's magic and myth. As strong as what I believe. A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see.
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