nobody's really seen my million subtleties.

i'm exhausted, but i never sleep.
i'm broken, but i'm not weak.
i'm happy, but i'm not content.
i'm sad, but i can't cry.
i'm alone, but i'm not lonely.
i want you, but i can't have you.
i want to hate you, but it's impossible.
i wan't you to notice me, but you don't.
i miss you, but i won't admit it.
i judge you, but i'm no better.
i miss the way things used to be, but i'm too stubborn to change it.
i want you to be happy, but i'm jealous.
i wish i didn't care, but i do.
i want to be friends, but i know we can't.
i wish it never happened, but i'm glad it did.
i should have met you first, but i didn't.
i care about you, but i'm too prideful to tell you.
i like having you around, but i hate facing you.
i want you to be honest, but i'm scared to hear the truth.
i see what you're thinking when you look at me, but you turn away.
i wish i had the answers, but i don't.
i've never been in love, but i want to be.
i wish you would make up your mind, but i don't want to lose you.
i never feel this way, but with you i do.
i shouldn't trust you, but i do.
i shouldn't want you, but i do.
i never need anyone, but i need you.
i hate waiting, but you're worth waiting for.
i'm tired of the chase, catch me.

 I wondered if he ever thought of me, and I hated the pang I felt when I told myself he didn't.

--Sarah Dessen